Morning

Work up early 6am. Sent the little one to lobby and see her away from my sight. It's cold but blissful cold. Feeling the morning breeze, the sky is dark but you knew it will be breaking the dawn soon. It's cold and air is fresh. It feels like the morning in far far away.

I woke up in a bed where it located at thousands 10miles away from my homeland. It was end winder. It was cold, breezy but blissful. It was glasses and wood. It was spacious, comfy. Walk down from the milky carpeted stairs, i found a small courtyard. It spreaded with brown leaves and neighbour was above. It was cold. It was 2am back in my homeland. I still couldn't adjust to jet lag. Staring at coutyard, my mind was flying away trying to find a reason or support of my whereabout. Yes, you had made a right choice. 即来安字则安之。I feel amazing, feels like the gal in the novel. At the back of me there is a black book rack. It stores hundreds of hard cover collections, intellectual board games, artifacts. It was manifest.

Walking on the rosewood timber, I feel warmth in every step I moved. There is a simple open kitchen, standing right next to living hall. A big TV standing on the bench and turn on the TV. The programs are no different from what i usually watch in my homeland but I knew I'm thousands miles away. I got no interest in watching TV because the scenery our of the full length glass window was breathtaking. The tall pine tree standing in front of the window and the mount Adam is at the far sight and beautiful. Covered with snow. Something I can only find in the TV program. The morning fresh golden sunray illuminate the land whilst the cold dry air kicking in. That made my day. Spectacular.

I remembered I was brought into the house from a garrage. It was getting colder as I walk down from the carpeted staircase. An array of sneakers was resting on the rack, it was cold. It was car porch, it was workshop cum, it's spacious for 2 vehicles or a Ping Pong game. I walked out through the side door, the air was fresh, it cold but blissful. I've landed at far far away. It was exciting and thrilling.

That was my morning.

My NYR 2012

If you were to ask me what I'm good at, I couldn't a thing. I ain't good at house chore, cooking, take good care of myself nor people around me, of course not to mention skill.

What skill do I've? swimming? (barely, coordition is poor). I collected lotsa stamps (something I can be proud of but it's useless now). I can cycling (barely do it now, driving most of the time). I 'm good at fixing up puzzle (thus i'm very good at faces). I could finished a 250 pages chinese novel in a day. I was a clubber, thus I'm not regretted.

Whilst some learn piano, who are a piano teacher now as a profession. Some was a national basket ball coach, I spent no effort except what had mentioned above. I was emotional, selfish, petty, lazy, self-centered.

Whilst I thought I'm independent, I actually could barely take care of myself. I can't take care of the house, i can't make a meal for myself, the plant died under my care. The only moment which make me proud of was my early age career, but it was gone out of boredom, of course this is the attribute of being the youngest in the family ^^. I met my ex at the 4th year I quitted the job. What will happened if I didn't quit? I never asked. I never look back.

I met my first love in the time I was waking up, however it didn't last. I made 500% effort to start my new life - Jenna. She's mine. I have to be responsible for her.

Today, I'm a successful mother (at least someone said), I'm successful single mother (i said this to myself), I'm a pretty/capable mother (everybody said) ^^.

This year, I figure out 6 new year resolutions I want to groom a better Jenna, healthier, prettier, smarter. I want a better career, more challenging, rewarding. I want pursue my study, deeper and knowledgeable. I 'll pursue love, whether god has decided. I want a healthier me, more exercise.

Last but not least, I wish you and me a better year ahead. Happy Year 2012 ^_^

Long Lost Friend

It was 7 years ago.. how fast the time flies. We met in a pub, he brought his customers and I was with my colleagues...

We dated a few times till he moved abroad. He told me different country he lived each time we contacted each other. 7 Years later...

I got a missed call from a strange number. As I called back finally's him. He told me he missed calling my number as it was meant for his aunt. Well.

It's something great although it's a missed call, at least I knew my number was still kept :)

Merry Xmas!!

Noodle Soup

I remember the very first time i made noodle soup. It happened in far far away, most crazy time zone (compared to mine), someone I've strong feeling with (the reason why i was there)..and yet I made the most lousy noodle soup. haha. What an irony right?

I still remember his comment was "uh..it'ok, it taste just like salt" - ok i deserved it, it was embarassing but at least i know I'm real lousy. Shouldn't have made such a lousy meal to someone first taste your cooking. Days past, I realized he's a good cook. He cook tasty, he has skill.

3 years later...I'm satisfied with my progress of cooking. Ok, that's MINE progress. From someone who never explore cooking (timing isn't right - This is the best excuse i could give) in her entire life till able to make asian fusion, italian (pasta only), authentic chinese. Well, at least something. haha. I start making noodle soup today (something i figured out finally how to make a good soup base). It's well known chinese favorite - pan mee. I figured out, once you used to cook, it come naturally to you on what spices to use to make your dishes good.

actually this was my third attempt. The first attempt was the noodle is too thick (since it's on pinch type) and the base was awful, the second attempt was the noodle still too thick. Today, i put extra effort, I made the flour overnight. It turn out so soft and well the next day. The soup was fantastic and the noodle was excellent, except, if chinese dishes criterias consist of Look, Smell & Taste, guess i've failed the criteria of "Look"hmm. Well well well.

I bet the next time i make again, it could be servde publicly:)

P/S: I recalled the dim sum place..only have vague impression but it was memorable

Sleeping Quality (SQ)

I don't use the word insomnia just because find it too heavy to apply.

If you ever come across this post, you do find sleeping quality has been dropped. It's either you toss for hours but still wide awake, or you woke up middle of the night. Either way, you felt fatique the next morning when you start the day. Your friends/colleagues start telling you how tired you look, you start feeling aged with your tired/puffy looking eyes, not all your productivity has dropped at work or home, all these signs gets you further stress. You start conscious on how to get quality sleep by research, but all these resulted you stress even further. Why?

Simple reason, sleep is a natural process. When you lie down on the bed, your brains send you message you want to sleep, your brain start feeling relax, body feeling light, your mind wonder no way then you start dreaming. If your mind are wondering how to sleep better, you're disrupting the natural process of sleep, your mind need to work on what you desire to know - how to sleep better, instead of I want to sleep now.

However in order to get good quality sleep, you need to know your root cause...

You need to trace back the very first night when you're unable to sleep, what you were thinking back then, what's troubling you. Our Mind is a very good hardworking mate, it try helping you to resolve your problem whenever you desire off, that also means your mind is unrest. So first off, you need to work on the stress you face currently. I will not cover how to overcome the stress in this post because this is all about Sleeping Quality.

Now once you identified your stresses, you need to start building the momentum of sleep again, because the sleeping problem isn't comes overnight and it doesn't stop overnight. You need to hipnotize yourself, another simple word, talk to yourself.

To be continue.....

Property

Don't feel like selling my property though it was meant to.

Each time, i made number of visit to the show units, explore the environment movement/demand/potential development, then experience the customer service and analyse the development from the developer, market price, market movement, benefits, instalment, loans then lastly budget. Since much of these indicated positive, after much efforts, time been invested, i felt a pain each time i need to let it go. Just like this.

The investment doesn't stop here, the amount of "awaiting", "hope", "expect" grow together as the building grow. Although i think i could make a handsome profit, somehow, there is a little voice in my heart, can i buy another property i really like after sold? This tells i actually invested not only above-mentioned but also affection/feelings.

Perhaps i'm bit too dramatic? hmm..

Legacy

It's Friday evening, feeling so at ease and free. Perhaps I was also a no working day for me, so my mind was relax, spiritually relaxed.

After watching some TV, I thought of writting my book which was abandoned for a long time. Whilst i was digging the file from my backup disk, yah, can tell how long it was kept, ok i usually do backup 6- 12 months once. Frankily it does been abandoned for long.

So come back to digging file, i saw my past folders which stored many of photos where i lost touched with. I saw Jenna's photos at 4, 5, 6, when she was so cheeky, mischievious. Then i saw a folder named after a friend, the folder stored almost 80% of his life. From his profile, solo photos, favorites, family, food to restaurant etc. I also come acrossed smses we exchanged, videos that he sent etc. It brings me many many memories from the past. I wondering, if we never argued about the trip, would we still seeing each other, if i managed to make the trip, would our relationship never be the same.

Then i come acrossed my photos taken back in 2004- 2007..time flies. Those were the days, i took a long path to derive to who i'm today, this is life. Life is about mistakes, mistakes make you grow, mistake make you live differently. Today, i just want to be right, a peaceful and meaningful life.

Wait..ain't i supposed to find "my book" folder? hmm..see i've procastinated again. I've been sitting here and enjoy my nolstagia for more than an hour..

Okay, let's continue tomorrow..